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Friday, October 17, 2014

10 weeks...

10 weeks.... it seems like a lot longer than just 10 weeks ago I had surgery. It's still very surreal at this point. I have to do side by side pics to realize the actual changes going on. And when I do that, I'm actually shocked. I also realized that until this journey started, I only put up pics of my jewelry. Odd.

So this happened....

Outside of that... life is kind of just...moving along. I've come to the reality the ONLY med I can take for stomach acid issues is Prilosec. That was a fun learning curve. And by fun, I mean it wasn't at all, but hey, lesson learned.

Every day is still a learning experience, and not always when it comes to my Sleeve. Learning how to live without feeling like I'm failing at something. Learning how to live for me, learning how to be happy, truly happy.  Learning that the past shouldn't define me, and that too is just a learning tool, it's nothing to live for and from.

I'm also constantly reminded that perspective is everything. At the gym the other day, after sharing my latest 4lb drop for the week, and the total, Joe decided we needed a pic of me doing lunges w/ the total lost. (66lbs... but you can't really do that w/ 5lb increments in weights, so we went w/ 70lbs). I picked up 2-35lb dumbbells to lunge w/ and said "OMG Joe, this is freaking heavy..." and proceeded to warm up with a few lunges while he was doing something. I had to put the weights back down before he came back..... Then, we did the lunges, he took a pic and I re-racked them. I said "those were freaking heavy" and it hit me. DUH... I just shed about that much. Holy crap. I guess it really WAS heavy... Also.... I need new workout clothes as it looks like I'm about wearing a dress in this pic. Right.

People always ask what I eat, or how much I eat. I admit, on that front I'm pretty boring lately. I'm kind of stuck in a bit of a funk - mostly b/c food isn't fun. It's fuel. And I'm learning I can't do bland any longer. I'm always spicing things up. Sometimes a bit TOO much - that's only a problem when you realize you can't drink w/ your food. I have to wait for 30 mins after eating to drink. AWESOME.... But - look for a blog post soon for recipes and my "hacks" on good stuff. I think I've pretty much convinced my gf to try out gluten free, low carb, non-dairy whoopie pies with me. I dunno, it sounds good. What that really means is we'll make them, I'll have one, and leave her with the rest.

Next week is my first vacation in a long time. And not a working vacation in Vermont. I'm getting on a plane WITHOUT any laptops...and going to visit friends in South Florida for an extended weekend. I can't wait! (Sorry Mom & Dad, I love visiting, but ya know... there's no beach and warm weather there!) I think I might have clothes to wear on said vacation. They fit last week. Wonder what next week will bring, hah!

So...that's 10 weeks. Time is flying. I'm learning. Life is good. Now ...for that running thing. Blah!

Friday, October 3, 2014

8 Weeks

Today marks 8 weeks (plus one day) since my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Surgery. Most days, it seems like it was either just yesterday, or a lifetime ago. I feel an oddly zen-like most days. Work is stressful, this whole process post-VSG is a learning experience, but none of it bothers me. Even the bad days aren't that bad. A lot of negativity seems to have been left at the doors of the hospital the day I walked in. It's weird - but so true. I wish I could explain it, but my only explanation is that for once, I decided it was ok to be selfish and take care of me, and no one else.

So ... 2 months. I'm back at the gym w/ Joe, and loving it. So far, 2x a week, but I'm hoping for 3x a week by November ...or so. On top of that, the running training has to start sometime soon. I can't lie, I'm dreading it. I hate running. I really, really, hate running. I guess I'm going to have to figure out how to like it for 6 months and an 8k, huh?

The big question I'm asked ALL.THE.TIME is "how much have you lost?" followed by "how much do you want to lose?" At this time, unless I volunteer the info, I'm not answering those questions. It is the ONLY question I find incredibly rude. I understand it was my choice to make my journey public, but that doesn't mean I don't find certain things rude. The numbers on the scale also, don't always show the actual inches lost, either. Now, there ARE people I'll tell and share the loss with, because they are genuinely interested in the entire process, not just the numbers on the scale - and they are champions for me. But I can assure you, if you ask me in a public forum, I won't answer.

That being said, yesterday I got dressed to go to the chiro... and didn't realize JUST how big my clothes were... oops!

Every day, I learn something new. Lately it's been that my sleeve (Lucille... as she was affectionately named in a bad auto-corrected text to my bff) really, really likes protein drinks in the morning, or really anytime she's unsettled. I on the other hand? Really, really don't like protein drinks. The sleeve is slowly winning this battle. And by slowly, I mean ... I'm grudgingly opening a protein drink in the morning and drinking it throughout the day as I need to. But it's all a learning process. The other day I went to eat some rotisserie chicken - which I eat often. Tried one bite.... gagged it down and gave up. Got a cheese stick, some marinara sauce, and some cashews. Tried a bite of cheese...no go. Warmed it up...no go. So... cashews (and protein drink), it was. Dinner that night? Non-rotisserie chicken, and it was fine. She's finicky some days!

I also learned yesterday at the chiropractor ...that since I met my deductible and my out of pocket max, I no longer have co-pays for the rest of the year. SCORE! My neck has been a trouble spot for the past few months...so w/ no co-pays, I'll be going in for regular adjustments and sessions w/ their PT/massage therapist. Yes please. They also told me a TENS unit and orthotics are covered. I'm likely going to see an ortho for orthotics - mostly b/c I have some fun, fun bone spurs on my heel and Achilles that always seem to flare up when I run... but still. I'm rather excited at this news!

So ... 8 weeks out...I'm feeling good. My energy is back - it came back around week 5.5/6. I hit a stall in weight loss for 2 weeks that was frustrating but getting back to the gym kicked that into gear quickly. I should amend that. I feel GREAT. I really do. I find myself getting tired a bit more easily in the evenings, but that's ok. I'm running on 500 calories a day or less, I'd say I'm doing pretty good!

We're headed into fall in the Beach - my fave time of year. I love the cooler weather and everything fall. It also means it's beading weather again and last weekend, I made some new pieces! So excited about that! My fave piece... I made it for my dear friend Melinda who's been by my side through this whole journey... and ummmm...had to make myself one!

The last thing I want to address. Please, please don't feel sorry for me. Please don't act like I'm missing out on ANYTHING b/c I can only eat a few ounces at a meal. This choice, when I finally made it, was the best choice. It took me years to get here, but this time I knew it was right. I was totally at peace with the decision. I never once thought about backing out. I knew all the risks. Even the day I signed my consent form with all the "possible complications", including death, I knew I was making the right choice. In pre-op, I had a total sense of peace. In fact, from the day I decided I knew I was making the right choice. Just b/c I don't eat as much as you, maybe ever again, doesn't mean I'm missing out. It means I'm NOT missing out...on life.

I'll leave you with .... Day of surgery vs. 8 weeks out!

For reference... Day of, 1 mos, 8 weeks...