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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Still I Rise

Still I Rise - Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history 
With your bitter, twisted lies, 
You may tread me in the very dirt 
But still, like dust, I'll rise. 

Does my sassiness upset you? 
Why are you beset with gloom? 
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells 
Pumping in my living room. 

Just like moons and like suns, 
With the certainty of tides, 
Just like hopes springing high, 
Still I'll rise. 

Did you want to see me broken? 
Bowed head and lowered eyes? 
Shoulders falling down like teardrops. 
Weakened by my soulful cries. 

Does my haughtiness offend you? 
Don't you take it awful hard 
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines 
Diggin' in my own back yard. 

You may shoot me with your words, 
You may cut me with your eyes, 
You may kill me with your hatefulness, 
But still, like air, I'll rise. 

Does my sexiness upset you? 
Does it come as a surprise 
That I dance like I've got diamonds 
At the meeting of my thighs? 

Out of the huts of history's shame 
I rise 
Up from a past that's rooted in pain 
I rise 
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, 
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. 
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear 
I rise 
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear 
I rise 
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, 
I am the dream and the hope of the slave. 
I rise 
I rise 
I rise.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Transformation Tuesday

I was chicken to post this... but decided I needed to. For me.

Left - day of surgery. Right - about 3.5 weeks later. (The 1 mos pic was really not a good one lol)... some days I see it. Some days I don't. Most days the "don't" is in my head.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

One Month Check In

Wow, it's been one month (plus a few days) since I had surgery. Time really does fly. Some days I actually wonder if I'll feel "normal" again, or if this is the "new normal" and I just have to go through it with a smile and grace. Other days, I feel pretty great. Today, not a great day. Yesterday wasn't so much either. I was feeling good good into the week and had a busy week ... Worked all week, went to see Kings of Leon Wednesday night (and got home well past my bedtime!), hung out w/ a friend Thursday, and attended a fundraiser on Friday night (in the heat/humidity). Pretty sure Friday put me over. I drank plenty of water during the day and quite a bit during the event, but I'm still feeling the affects of being a bit dehydrated today, 2 days later.

It's all a learning experience. I think every day, I learn...or figure out something new. Yesterday I felt "off" - with a bit of an upset stomach. Although lately I've realized "upset" is really "feed me" most of the time. Hung out w/ my gf in the pool (Finally cleared for the pool!)... and was just blah. Got home, and pretty much went to bed. This morning, more blah feeling, and I realized that the upset stomach feeling was more than likely the gurgling of stomach acid ... oh right, and I hadn't taken Prilosec in 2 days. Note to self. Let's not do that again.

Friday was my 1 most post op appt. Cleared for the gym, cleared for more foods.... and doing extremely well. I'm already planning on blowing the 3 mos goal set by my PA for loss out of the water. I like to overachieve, what can I say?

Lots of people have asked exactly what Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) is, and my suggestion is to look online for a good description. However, I have 2 pics that illustrate things a bit better.

This is the procedure, in an illustration:

And this - shows the size of the bougie (tube used to form the new stomach, or sleeve), that my surgeon used. The 2nd pen down, the size of the pen cap, is approximately the size of the tube used to form my new sleeve. The doctor would have stapled around it, but gives the general gist of the size. Hint. It's SMALL!

I feel like there's a lot to say, but yet... there aren't any words. It's day to day ... learning, figuring it out, figuring life out even. I'm grateful for friendships, and grateful for friendships I never expected to blossom. Some days it feels like I left everything that was going on in my little world at some imaginary door the day of surgery and they're still at that door. Oddly enough, I don't want to deal with them still, so maybe they should just stay at that door.

Oh and lastly - and exciting for me - it's time for a blog redesign! Look for it soon!!!