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Thursday, March 6, 2014

Lose Yourself ... Lose Myself... Lose...

Lose Yourself - Eminem
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted. one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime

I was almost song-less, a rarity! But I found a fitting one. Also a rarity, I'm not posting this on any social media. If someone happens upon it, that's great. I'm not hiding anything, I'm just not FULLY ready to hear anything "negative".

A few months ago, ok really, years and years ago, I started to look into Weight Loss Surgery (WLS). I had a close friend who'd been through it, and along with the surgery and weight loss, she also had lots of complications. I wasn't ready for it. Years went by, and I thought about it, and I wasn't ready for it. I worked out w/ a trainer, who in the end, discouraged me more than anything. I lost weight, and I put it back on. I finally found a new trainer (who I'm not leaving!), but it still wasn't all there. It's a battle, daily. In the process of all this, a friend of mine set up a girls night out, and invited a new friend of hers. Little did I know that in her mind, she knew that this new friend and I would hit it off. And she was oh so right, but I'm not sure she knew that his new friend, Melinda, would come to be one of my biggest inspirations, and supporters. Regardless, I can't thank her ENOUGH for the introduction.

Melinda has been an open book to me, and a huge support of everything fitness. She's gotten me to come to Zumba, and ready to make it a normal part of my life. She's answered questions that are probably weird and personal, and she's been a CONSTANT encouragement. AND, she introduced me to Dr. Mark Fontana, the man who is helping me change my life. Yes... that means I've decided to have WLS. To be exact, a Sleeve Gastrectomy.

Now, let's be clear. This was NOT an easy decision. And this decision was 100% my own, b/c for once. I am ready. It's not an easy way out. It's a lifestyle change. It's a tool. And importantly it is MY choice. Does it mean I stop working out? Nope, save for the few weeks after surgery as I heal. Does it mean I took the easy road? Not in the slightest. If you could see the appointments and requirements I have to meet pre and post surgery, you'd think it wasn't easy either. Will life be forever different? YES! Freaking yes!!

February 17th, I attended Sentara Weight Loss Surgery Center's required information session. The next day, at 9:10a, I was on the phone setting up my first consult with the surgeon. Based on what they'd said the night before, it would be a week or so before I could get in. As luck would have it, there was a cancellation, and I had an appointment for the next day, February 19th, with Dr. Fontana. I'm not a fan of doctors, but I have to say, I have never felt more relief as I did walking through the doors at Sentara Weight Loss. Friendly staff, welcoming faces, warm welcomes. I've been there twice, and the 2nd time I walked in, Kristy, Dr. Fontana's secretary and Navigator, exclaimed "Girl, it's good to see you, welcome!!" as I walked through the doors. She'd met me once before. February 19th, there was a new beginning in sight. Not a light at the end of the tunnel, not an ending. A new beginning! And with luck, that new beginning starts around Labor Day!

I'm beyond blessed to have so many caring people in my corner, that do know already about the surgery. My best friend took the time to dig into the surgery, what it meant, looked at pros and cons and while scared out of her mind, supports me 1000000%. The fact that she took the time to find the good (and bad heh) info, and dig into it, and go so far as to look for support groups so she can help support me, floors me. I expect nothing less from her, but I'm still beyond touched. I really can't do this life without her. My parents didn't flinch when I told them. They are 100% behind me. And they (at least one lol) will be here to take care of me after surgery. What more can I ask for? My trainer is on board - and loves my dedication. He tells me that he can see it in my eyes - I'm just ready.

So why surgery? Why not do it the "hard" way? I decided I was done being a spectator of life. I'm ready to jump in the middle and live. I could do it the "hard" way and work out and watch my eating and let is consume me for the next 4-6 years (let's be realistic here... that's a safe number), and let life pass by while being consumed with fitness and weight loss. OR, I could be consumed by life, and have fitness and my health be a huge role, but not the part that consumes me. I want to be consumed by new experiences and living. It's that simple. And, it's MY choice. There are people that I KNOW do not fully support my choice, and no matter what they say, I know think it's an easy way out, or maybe they are jealous. Who knows. Trust me, it's nothing to be jealous about. BUT, there are going to be naysayers. They're out there. Oh well, That's all I can say. Don't like my choice? I probably don't like a lot of yours. But they're yours. And this is mine.

And so.... I'm happy, happier than I have been in a long time. It only gets better!