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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Comes the Dawn

Life moves fast, so very fast. Sometimes there aren't even words to put to "virtual paper" because the moments are gone just like that. And within those fast moving moments, there are the moments you don't ever forget, time almost stands still. The anticipation of seeing your best friend of 20+ years in 7 (SEVEN!) days, meeting a longtime friend for the first time. (Finally!), those new friendships that leave you laughing and laughing (and snorting), those are moments we all live for.  But sometimes, time becomes complacency.  Complacency becomes a slow merry-go-round ride you can't seem to bring yourself to get off. You might call it "being in a groove", that's what I did. But now I call it like it is... Over. Done. No more. Tonight is the first night of the week that I've actually sat on the couch and done nothing. I've been out with friends, having dinner, the gym. Living. It's a slow change, but it's time.

I saw a photo of a friend and thought "wow, those eyes are so unhappy compared to the "now" photos". That stopped me in my tracks, because I'd be willing to guess the sparkle that was in my eyes not all that long ago, probably isn't there now. In fact, I know it isn't. Complacency is a funny beast, isn't she?

I don't have the answers on what's next, how it's going to change, but it, things, just are. More gym. More friends. More me. This fast moving life, and the moments that make it, is changing.

Comes The Dawn

Author: Veronica A. Shoffstall
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning 
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

1 comment:

  1. I can relate to this in so many ways.

    Years ago in a bad relationship that soon ended, I saw a photo of us together and we were barely smiling. Eyes kind of dead. That should have been a sign. Of course, I didn't see it until after the fact.

    Currently I work in a very negative environment with a horrible boss is doing everything she can to prevent me from promoting out of our department because I do the bulk of the work. I've finally gotten over my complacency and I am aggressively looking for work elsewhere! Sometimes what we need is a horrible environment to spur change.