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Sunday, December 2, 2012

My choices, my thoughts

In my last blog, I talked a little about what 2013 is going to bring to my life, hopefully a child of my own. Foster adoption and adoption are at the forefront of my mind.

I have worked for a lot of years to get ahead in my life and my career. I've sacrificed family and relationships to be stable enough to have a child, be it naturally or, the more likely, adoption. I know there's a lot of people wondering "why not natural?". So many reasons. One, pregnancy, childbirth, the whole thing? It does nothing for me. In fact, the idea is pretty unappealing. Sleepless nights, diapers, even if I wasn't going to be a single mom, they really don't do much for me either. Will I miss first steps? Rolling over? Teething? More then likely if I go the Foster Adoption route, but there will be other firsts as a parent. And I am ok with that, you might not be, but I am, and that's MY choice.

I can be controversial at times (if you know me, I'm sure you're shocked beyond belief). I am reading over pages and blogs and requirements to be an adoptive parent and a foster parent. Home visits, background checks, a true vetting process. HOWEVER, I know people who likely weren't qualified to be parents in the first place popping out #2, #3, #4 ...and on. NOT one of them has to go through ANY of the processes that I will. NOT one of them gives any regard to how crappy (and let us face facts, if you knew the stories, you'd agree) their parenting skills are. I will likely, in the foster route, have to go to parenting classes and all sorts of classes. No other parents are required to do this. Even those getting welfare, and more welfare for the kids the pop out. I have yet to figure out, and I'm sure I always will wonder, how on EARTH at this point in my life, on the back side of my 30's, ready to be a parent... do I have to move heaven and earth to get a child (not give birth to), but someone already on welfare, not fit to be a parent to the children they already have... is praised, given the world ...and more welfare. I'm rather over hearing "children are a blessing from God". Not because I don't believe it, I do believe children are a blessing. I also believe in birth control and KNOWING when you should be using it. If you can't afford the kids you already have, or if you can't be a good parent, condoms are free. Planned Parenthood gives out free birth control. USE THAT SHIT.

Anyway. I'm excited, nervous and a little scared about this adventure. I wonder if they'll "take" me b/c I am going to be a single mom. (but hey, if I quit my job and pop out a kid as a single mom... I'll be golden AND I'd get some $$$). I'm nervous about just BEING a parent. I have amazing parents, grandparents and friend-parents (and goodness, I have the most amazing friends that are parents to look up to and turn to for advice). But it's different. It's a little (lot) nerve-wracking. I am choosing to pick a child that someone decided they could not raise, or they were taken away because their parents were no longer fit.

I'm rambling, so many thoughts in my head. So so many.




4 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you :) Do you kid sit too? ;) (KIDDDINGGGG...mostly)

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  2. I can't wait til the "Easter Bunny" calls your little one!! Lots to think about here. Take your time, and do your homework. You'll be okay. Better than okay...great! Love you.

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  3. Good luck! I hope 2013 brings you all you wish for.

    When I was about 25 I started going through the process of adopting. I was single, but that didn't seem to be a roadblock. I believe in adoption very much and was excited. Eventually I sat down and did the math and decided to wait. Maybe someday. :)

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