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Thursday, December 20, 2012

First Impressions

Mr. Know It All, well ya think you know it all, but ya don't know a thing at all. Ain't it something y'all when somebody tells you something 'bout you. Think that they know you more than you do, so you take it down another pill to swallow. - Kelly Clarkson

So, first impressions. I've been thinking a lot about this. The old adage is "you only have one chance to make a first impression" but I don't know if that is 100% true. In my case, I make a different impression, if you will, depending on what is going on in my life.

In business? I make my business impression. Want to talk hotels? ADR? RevPAR? OTAs? I can do that in my sleep. I've been doing the hotel thing since I was 20. So my business impression, that's one. Online? Don't even think my full personality EVER gets out there in social media. I pick and choose what to put out there, of who I am. I censor some things (don't we all?) based on who my audience is. Did we meet online? Via Social media? Dating site? (ugh!) TRUST that you don't know all of me. You see the tiny parts of me I want you to see. It takes a lot for me to let someone close enough to know 100% of me. I would venture to say that there are a small handful of people that see every side of me, every impression. Did you know I'm actually REALLY shy in person? But ... only in a social setting. It takes me a little while to warm up in person. In business, in person? Hah! I'm on my game, always. Somewhere is my office is my Meyers-Briggs assessment. I'm an introvert. Shocking to most that have taken the time to get to know me. I forget all the letters, but it's me, to a "T". I can flirt with the best of them - but put me on a 1st date and I am the most nervous person you've ever met. In fact, I abhor 1st dates. Did you know I was in a long relationship that we ended - a month before our wedding? Did you know that relationship flipped my life in the mid-west upside down and was the catalyst to "She's Checking Out"? Probably not.

My point is, we think we know people. We see their lives unfold so much on social media, that we REALLY think we know them, but we don't. We know what they are willing to show. Impressions, but not the whole picture. I recently came into contact with someone who has 100% judged me COMPLETELY wrong. They couldn't be more wrong if they tried - b/c they only saw that small sliver that I was showing them AT THAT MOMENT, but it was enough for them to make a snap choice and decide I was someone...different then I am. Sure we banter now and then, but it really pisses me off that a quick, online interaction, was enough for them to judge. And funny enough, they hate being judged.

But we all do it, don't we? We all judge? We judge the person who makes a weird, out there comment. We judge the bat-shit crazy (ok, I judged!) lady in front of us at the grocery store, or the guy on our ass while we're driving. Most of the time, we never know the whole picture.

My goal for 2013 is to stop making such snap 1st impressions, and take a step back and try to let a 2nd and 3rd impression sink in. I hope you all will too. Life is too short!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Messing Up

I was chatting (oh hell, I am still, while writing) with an old, but dear friend today. She asked how things were going (workout/weight-wise) and I laughed out loud in my office. Going? They are going no where, quickly. I hurt my back a few months ago and while I'm feeling SOOOO much better, I'm still being careful and a little protective. I have holidays in Vermont coming up too and honestly, I don't want to start a new routine and not be able to get into it while in VT. January will be trying as well as I will be spending a week in Dallas for work - and that's always disruptive, tiring, and there's not a lot of time for the gym.

I've been doing a 30 day squat challenge (HELLO 70 today!), and feeling good, but I miss the hard workouts, the ones that left me sore for the next few days. I'm not taking very good care of myself. I'm getting by each day. Work is stressful and that falls into life. I'm making really awesome excuses for why I'm not at the gym daily. Oh, ok ok... some days, I don't EVEN make an excuse. I just don't go. I've put on almost 30lbs that I lost. SICKENING. (and yes, that's probably the 1st time I've publicly admitted it)

We all mess up. I mess up ...daily. Work, life, working out, sleeping. How you rebound from it is what matters. It might be a momentary mess up, or, like me, a few MONTH mess up. I'm going to get back on the proverbial horse in the new year and do things right. Planning meals, stocking up the kitchen with GOOD things, having RTD protein drinks avail when I'm sick of making my own.

For me, I have to go back to not finding or USING excuses. I have to find my own inspiration, within, and I have to take care of myself again. My friend asked me if I blog when I'm messing up. Hahahha. No. Or I do, but it's about something else. So, I'm also vowing to admit/blog when I'm messing up. I find I don't blog as much when I feel crappy - but this will be a way to be more accountable.

And, on a happier note... I'm working on a new design and new "take" on my blog. Yes, I'll still be blogging about working out/losing weight, but I'm going to write about life. Because my life is WAY more then just those two things. Check back soon for updates!!!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

My choices, my thoughts

In my last blog, I talked a little about what 2013 is going to bring to my life, hopefully a child of my own. Foster adoption and adoption are at the forefront of my mind.

I have worked for a lot of years to get ahead in my life and my career. I've sacrificed family and relationships to be stable enough to have a child, be it naturally or, the more likely, adoption. I know there's a lot of people wondering "why not natural?". So many reasons. One, pregnancy, childbirth, the whole thing? It does nothing for me. In fact, the idea is pretty unappealing. Sleepless nights, diapers, even if I wasn't going to be a single mom, they really don't do much for me either. Will I miss first steps? Rolling over? Teething? More then likely if I go the Foster Adoption route, but there will be other firsts as a parent. And I am ok with that, you might not be, but I am, and that's MY choice.

I can be controversial at times (if you know me, I'm sure you're shocked beyond belief). I am reading over pages and blogs and requirements to be an adoptive parent and a foster parent. Home visits, background checks, a true vetting process. HOWEVER, I know people who likely weren't qualified to be parents in the first place popping out #2, #3, #4 ...and on. NOT one of them has to go through ANY of the processes that I will. NOT one of them gives any regard to how crappy (and let us face facts, if you knew the stories, you'd agree) their parenting skills are. I will likely, in the foster route, have to go to parenting classes and all sorts of classes. No other parents are required to do this. Even those getting welfare, and more welfare for the kids the pop out. I have yet to figure out, and I'm sure I always will wonder, how on EARTH at this point in my life, on the back side of my 30's, ready to be a parent... do I have to move heaven and earth to get a child (not give birth to), but someone already on welfare, not fit to be a parent to the children they already have... is praised, given the world ...and more welfare. I'm rather over hearing "children are a blessing from God". Not because I don't believe it, I do believe children are a blessing. I also believe in birth control and KNOWING when you should be using it. If you can't afford the kids you already have, or if you can't be a good parent, condoms are free. Planned Parenthood gives out free birth control. USE THAT SHIT.

Anyway. I'm excited, nervous and a little scared about this adventure. I wonder if they'll "take" me b/c I am going to be a single mom. (but hey, if I quit my job and pop out a kid as a single mom... I'll be golden AND I'd get some $$$). I'm nervous about just BEING a parent. I have amazing parents, grandparents and friend-parents (and goodness, I have the most amazing friends that are parents to look up to and turn to for advice). But it's different. It's a little (lot) nerve-wracking. I am choosing to pick a child that someone decided they could not raise, or they were taken away because their parents were no longer fit.

I'm rambling, so many thoughts in my head. So so many.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

I am... Unwritten

Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it. Release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you only you can let it in. No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten

I read a blog post that Chelsea at Diamonds, Dog Tags and Diapers wrote for a linkup over at From Mrs. to Mama, that was, in short, a quick blurb about who you were. I read the Women Connect post a couple of times, and it struck me. Who am *I*? I've been thinking about it since yesterday, and this blog post. I mean, I know WHO I am, but I don't know, some days, who I am. (In my mind, it makes sense). I'm 36, single, the hotel world is my biz, revenue manager, trying to get in shape/healthy/lose weight, and I'm ready to start looking into the adoption process. I don't write about a lot of things I should. I don't write about who I am a lot. I've let this journey define me in a lot of ways, when it doesn't need to. I can be a hotelier, a revenue manager (and love it), be single (ugh b/c really, this dating thing... sucks!), a friend, a daughter and STILL be on a journey to fitness.

When I started this blog, I decided to call it "Checking Out, Checking In" for a number of reasons. The obvious, I've been doing this hotel thing since I was 20ish. I had also just left a city I loved (Omaha), a life I was starting with my now ex-fiance, and great friends, for Virginia Beach. I picked the Beach on a map basically knowing just one person. I wanted to be closer to home (hello last minute trip for Dad's stroke this summer), but I also wanted to be near the beach. Success, I got what I wanted. I was checking out of a life I thought was going to be MY life. New job, new city, wedding planning, and checking into a new life, that was full of promise. I realize that life is ever evolving, and I realize the journey, every single day, is unwritten. It's what you make of it, who you invite into your world, and how you continue to get back up when you fall down that matters. Every day, I find myself checking out and checking back in. Work is stressful. Friendships that were once familiar are difficult. New (amazing, wonderful) friends unexpectedly came into my world. Old friendships become stronger. And family is always there.

And now? I'm checking back in... to just do it. Work out. It's really, really NOT that hard. Do it. JUST DO IT. I'm checking back in to who I am, or who I want to be? Who I was? who knows. I know, whatever I do, it's going to be fun. There will be laughter, champagne, crafts (goodness, if you know me, you know I'm NOT crafty, but thanks to my new, dear friend Donna, that's changing!), probably tears, and adventures in working out and... the newest addition, delving into adoption. I am unwritten, and I like it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Not Ready to Make Nice

I’m not ready to make nice, I’m not ready to back down, I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round. It’s too late to make it right, I probably wouldn't if I could, ‘Cause I’m mad as hell, can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should. - Dixie Chicks

I've struggled to blog lately. Shocking. I feel like I'm self-censoring for a number of reasons. On top of that, at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is type more, form more coherent thoughts, and put things in writing.

Tomorrow is my 36th birthday. I have mixed feelings about this. 30? Could not WAIT. 35... wasn't too bad. 36? Not digging it. I should be married, with a child, or a child on the way. Logically, anyway. We walked away from that. Ironically, the ex is engaged now. The guy I dated after that? Having a baby. Life certainly works in odd ways. So, let's recap. No husband, no baby. The husband? I can deal without having. The baby (child...)... the desire hasn't gone away. I know, a good woman would find a man, settle down, get married, then decide to have a baby. I don't really care about doing things the way I should. I have a great job and a career and that's half the battle.

I've been round and round with the workout, weight loss thing. I feel like I suck at life. I know...I know. Stubborn as my best friend says (you can even read it here!), "Just Do It!" as I was recently told by another acquaintance. Slowly but surely, right? I've exercised every day this week, in some form. I don't want to over-do it again with my back, but I'm dying for a hard leg day - the one that leaves you with jello legs and sore for days. Leg day makes me feel invincible, and powerful. Silly, but it does. 

So how does it all tie together? I won't back down (I don't like to lose). I don't want to do what people think I should... so I'm going to do it... all of it. Damn it. I'm going to kick 36 in the ass and laugh as 37 rolls around in 365 days, when I'm better, stronger, and happier. And the child? I'm taking a step that simultaneously SCARES me and brings me comfort. I'm going to an adoption event on Sunday. It's an event for at risk/troubled children that end up in foster care, but a lot are eligible for adoption. I don't know what's going to come of it, but adoption has always seemed...natural... to me.

So... here's to 36. No turning back...no excuses. No making nice. Kicking ass, taking names.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

No words

I've tried to blog.... I've tried to put the thoughts in my head into words. It's not working. So, music it is. These songs describe how I'm feeling and have been on repeat for the last few days.

Goodbye In Her Eyes - Zac Brown Band

Coming to Terms - Carolina Liar

Maybe tomorrow I'll have more to say. Maybe.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

If If Changes Your Life, Let It

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don’t.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy.
They just promised it would be worth it.

This is one of my favorites... Today though, it's a reminder. No regrets... take chances. In the end, it will be worth it.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

A Reason, A Season, or a Lifetime

I firmly believe that everyone in my life is a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out why, other times it's readily apparent. I've been rocked by a friendship I thought was a "Lifetime". I'm realizing that a current relationship is ... a "Reason" or a "Season". I'm still trying to figure out what. But it's time to turn the page, start the next chapter. It sort of sucks. It's sad to realize it won't end up being a "Lifetime", but it's refreshing to know that whatever need was there, seems to have been fulfilled. I am pretty sure I have it figured out, but maybe I don't. Maybe I'm all wrong. I'm hoping that turning the page and starting the next chapter with a pristine page will be push I need in other areas.

"It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant" I'm thankful beyond belief for the lifetime, true friendships I have made, that exist, and those friendships I'm hopeful will be lifetime friendships.

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

So much to say...

I feel like I'm channeling Dave Matthews (so much to say, so much to say, so much to say) and John Mayer (Say... say what you need to say ...say what you need to say....) lately. Lots on my mind, but not a lot I want to put in words. Maybe words make it real? Self-censorship at it's finest!

What could I talk about? Dating (really... it would be filed in the comedy section), relationships (mystery), work (Look up "Deuced" ...no thanks), or me. And well, I feel like I'm a pretty boring pity party right now.

My hurt back is the root of the pity party. Sore... hurts...sore... it's just crappy. I've been talking it easy and it's getting better, but I'm not patient. Guess I should look up open swim and swim classes at the gym. THAT would be a good idea. But I want to lift damn it. I want to have a set of barbells across my shoulders squatting my best ever weight. Why? Because honestly? It makes me feel powerful, like I'm doing something. Leg Day is and was always my favorite day. I might be sore, deep sore, for days after, but there was nothing like it. NOTHING like dead lifting 175# (multiple reps, PR, but not my normal), nothing like squatting close to that. The burn was indescribable. I miss that. I'm dumb for missing that b/c I should just be doing it.

So, I know what to do. I even know what to do while my back works out the kinks. So why aren't I? Dumb. Just dumb. I try to recall the moment that I walked into the gym for the 1st time 2 years ago. What got me there, to that point. I was motivated. Why aren't I now, and how do I get back there? Is it just a point? I can say I'm going to go, go for a few days and fall off. How do I get back to being the 5 day a week gym girl?

Hopefully the pity party doesn't last long.... b/c I don't like it!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Last Goodbye

I don't have much... Well, I have a lot, but my mind is spinning. This song, along with a few others, is stuck on repeat in my mind. It covers a lot of bases. So, I'll leave you with it, for today. More to come!

Goodbye - Kenny Wayne Shepherd

Long before your rusted chains
Busted walls and barb wire cage
Tried to hold me down

And time was just a fist of change
Tossed in the water just in case
You ever came around

I could lose myself
I could curse like hell
But I've lost the will
To even try

If you ever doubt
Listen to the sound
No lies, no no no
This is my last goodbye

Now pardon me if I appear
To see beyond the now and here
To try to save myself

I'm not the kind to pin the blame
But I can't take more of the same
Livin' on your shelf

I could lose myself
I could curse like hell
But I've lost the will
To even try

If you ever doubt
Listen to the sound
No lies, no no no
This is my last goodbye, oh yeah

Door closes
Another one opens
I feel the cold wind blowin' over me

Hey, long gone but not forgotten
I might be lost
I might be finally free
I'm finally free

Long before you're rusted chains
Busted walls and barb wire cage
Tried to hold me down

And time was just a fist of change
Tossed in the water just in case
You ever came around

I could lose myself
I could curse like hell
But I've lost the will
To even try

If you ever doubt
Listen to the sound
No lies, no no no
This is my last goodbye

This is my last goodbye
Yes it is, yes it is

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Do Not Let the Bitterness Steal Your Sweetness

Be Soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place. - Kurt Vonnegut

I knew when I read this on Never Say Never Blog's  Facebook Page, that it would inspire a blog post. I've been thinking about it for a few days, the words rolling around in my thoughts. Bitterness is a dear friend of mine, even when I say it's not. I claim that things don't bother me, but in reality, they do. Some, even a few years later, for logical yet still DUMB reasons. I can say that in instances lately, bitterness certainly has stolen my sweetness. Time for a change!

I have the ability to fix what makes me unhappy, and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I KNOW I feel better when I work out. I KNOW working out takes out the days frustrations. I KNOW I sleep better after a good hard lifting session. So if I KNOW all these things, WTF is stopping me? Oh right. Me. I'm the one in my own freaking way. So how am I going to do that? Accountability. Gym. Pool. Gym. Pool. Food Diary. Gym. And somewhere in there, continue to put ME first. I sort of suck at that a lot.

In the midst of writing this, a friend called me unexpectedly. We'd been texting last night and I mentioned it's been a long couple of weeks between being in my own little funk, tweaking my back, work being pretty demanding and busy, and last of all, walking away from the friendship. He had, as always, great words of wisdom on most of the topics, but left alone the friendship. His call today was to tell me he was thinking about me, that he's cheering me out of my funk, and oh that friendship? "Fuck it, if it's not two way, it's no way". Wise words.

So... here's to Me and finding my sweetness.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Biting My Tongue

This morning I woke feeling rather refreshed. A nice walk last night (ok, it was freaking humid, helllloooo Mother Nature, it's October, a little fall weather would be ok!), and a yum dinner (roaster chicken, mashed potatoes w/ a bit of butter substitute and chix stock, veggies) capped off my evening. I avoided the debates, although I'm pretty sure if I had actually paid attention to Twitter, I could have gotten a great recap.

I didn't sleep GREAT but I attribute that to the 203982340938 bottles of water I drank yesterday. Like most mornings, I start my day w/ the team at GMA (#TeamRobin!), and I pull my work email down, browse Gmail, Twitter and Facebook, from bed. As I was browsing FB, I found myself reading a post from someone I trusted immensely when I started my fitness/workout journey. At one time, I thought of this person as a champion for me, someone who was in my corner, and here was reading words "I thought to myself WHO WANTS TO BE CALLED THE OPPOSITE? WHO WANTS TO BE CALLED THE 3-LETTER F WORD?" Uh...3-letter "F" word? Really? Maybe it strikes a chord in me b/c I AM that  "3-letter F word", but I think it's more that this was someone who helped me START my journey and here they were, unable to say (type) the word fat and thinking it would be a tragedy to be called that horrible word. It was all I could do not to reply, b/c I knew that it would probably not be taken well (uh, ya know), and it would start something I honestly didn't want to get into. 

It still doesn't sit well with me - but that's ok. Not my loss. I'm doing me, they can do them. And doing me means eating better and working out again like I used to. I even dug out the Costco sized bottle of ibuprofen that I know I'm going to need. 

On a similar note, I decided to walk away recently from a toxic, draining friendship. I think I've known for a while that was the right choice, but it took a while to get to that point. It was a hard choice, agonizing. I pray daily for this friend, but I know in my heart of hearts, walking away right now was best for me, and I'm the only one that matters right now (to me). I feel lighter without the weight of having to choose my words, or, deciding to say what's on my mind and getting shitty responses back. I'm sad b/c I don't even think it's noticed that I chose this, but as I just said. I'm doing me. I'm blessed with amazing friends. Inspiring friends. (and since we're talking about inspiring, check out my friend Christa! She's a runner and has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer ... and THAT doesn't stand in her way.... I really have NO good excuses!)

Lastly, I'll leave you with a pic of my Best Friend and I from my last trip to Vermont. I don't look good in it, but I don't care, it's Bevy & Stella (our nicknames ...that came from a lovely autocorrected text, she's Bevy, I'm Stella!). Her blog today made me cry... again! 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

I can't do this life without you

When I think about my best friend Lee Ann, that will always pop into my head (and likely one day, be permanently tattoo'd on my body). I can't do this life without you. She's my best friend, the sister I never biologically had, but have been blessed with, my champion, my advocate, the one I bitch to, the one I cry, laugh (snorting laughing!), and commiserate with. She's my Best Friend, with capital letters. And now, we're on a "get healthy" journey together. No doubt, like everything we do through distance (Vermont to Virginia) or together (Oh... the stories), this will be an adventure filled with laughter, tears, frustration and most of all love!

You can follow Lee Ann's blog here - and I encourage you do to so! She's hilarious! I'll be updating more regularly (we made a pact!).

There's no "diet" here - just a journey to get healthier and for some of us, get pregnant. (No Mom, not me, not yet...although I DO think Lee Ann has different ideas on that!) Some of us just want to look and feel better.

This is my motivation... and I'm so glad my bestie is by my side, like everything. Stayed tuned for more... and don't worry, if you're confused by lipstick covered teeth comments, wonder about our big hair or Virgin Slims, don't worry... you're not alone, but I'm sure you'll laugh at the stories that explain them!

Here's go nothing...

Saturday, July 28, 2012

New, Different, Motivated?

For something completely new... I FINALLY registered a domain for the blog (ShesCheckingOut.com), and am working on trying to pick a blog layout.

I find blogging to be refreshing and a good place to put my feelings, so I foresee it changing from JUST about working out and that battle... but to a life battle. For instance, I have a date on Monday, with Mr. Nice (he's been coined that by my friends). I'm looking forward to it, but a little apprehensive as well.

I'm slacking at eating better, slacking at working out, slacking at sleep. I just HAVE to do better. I spent 2 long, but short weeks in Vermont, 10 days ahead of my vacation, because my Dad had a stroke. He's doing well, and he's always my inspiration. Guess it's time to get back in the saddle and do what I know ... lifting. Cardio. Lifting. Cardio. I feel better, I sleep better, I think better. So why the slacking? Why the mental block?

The blog is titled "Checking Out, Checking In" - checking out of an old life and into a new one. It's time to close some old doors, open some new ones and just do it. I'm sure there will be more posts about Mr. Nice, working out, food, and life. (I'm still leaving work out of it!)

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Just Two More

Just Two More... Just Two More. Just Two More. That was my mantra at the gym yesterday. It's not a secret I've slacked at blogging, but I've slacked at workouts and a lot of other things. I've been going at least twice, usually 3x a week to the gym for the last few weeks, but this week, I'm shooting for 4x. I need to rearrange my schedule so I can swim at lunch vs. lift at lunch (open swim then) and lift at night for some 2 a day action. That means I need to check out how busy it is at 7 or 8 at the gym/weight room.

Anyway. Last week, a woman I follow on Twitter posted that she gave it her all, and then some, at the gym. It was tough, but she pushed past the point she didn't think she could do. She did a few more minutes on the treadmill, she did a few more reps. Why couldn't I do that?

So I did. Yesterday was all about getting to the point I didn't think I could do more (usually 10-12 reps)...and doing Just Two More. In some instances it was Just Two More AND 5lbs more in weight, but I pushed through and felt good. I'm a little sore today, but not as sore as I thought I'd be. Now to add "Just Two More" to the cardio aspect!!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Things I suck at.... er... things that need improvement

  • Accountability
  • Blogging
  • Life
  • Accountability
  • Blogging
  • Accountability.... 
Do we see a pattern? Life is FLYING by - fast, almost too fast, and lately, I haven't been working out as much as I should be! I haven't been blogging...but I've been working, and travelling. 

This week I'll be putting together my workout schedules and menus. I'm excited to be joining the Y with my friend.... I wasn't going to but found the "budget" for it - b/c working out w/ her is actually pretty fun. We both need the push - and it's "girl time". 

I'm hoping to get my butt in gear and post my my workout schedule and menus ... I may have to hit up Chelsea at Diamonds, Dog Tags and Diapers to see how SHE schedules her blogs and tweets. That seems do-able vs. having to write on demand! 

So... what should I blog about? What do YOU my dear readers want to read about? Hear about? Not want to hear about? Help a girl out! 

Monday, March 19, 2012


I feel like I have some accountability, but in reality, lately, I don't. Work is busy. Life is busy. The time change messed me all up. I'm tired. I have stuff to do. Welcome to my excuses lately. I'm back to tracking what I eat. I know what I SHOULD stay under, but I'm going for tracking EVERYTHING starting today. And I'm going to try to blog daily. Sometimes life really does get in the way of blogging, but not working out. I feel like I'm on a plateau I just can't get over. So. For this week, here's what  I plan to do, and be accountable for:

  • Walk Daily
  • Lift at least twice
  • Track everything (EVERYTHING!) I eat
  • Drink at least 8-8oz servings of water (and track)
  • Blog daily (hopefully, honestly at the end of the day, I hate being on the computer, although the tablet...another story)
Nudge me if I'm not being accountable!!! 

Sunday, March 4, 2012


I was catching up on Twitter tonight and read a tweet from Chelsea (MotoWife on Twitter) that had the hash tag of #ThisWeekIWillNot - and I immediately loved it! So - Here is MY own #ThisWeekIWillNot List

This Week I Will Not: 

  • Read work email during non-work hours 
  • Drink less than 100oz of water per day
  • Check my phone every time the light flashes (it's usually on mute during working hours and I never turn on the sounder after)
  • Spend less than 20 minutes on the treadmill/running/walking
  • Shop on Amazon (or anywhere but the grocery store and Costco - hey, cat litter is on sale with a coupon starting on the 8th, don't judge!)
Follow me on Twitter @MegsCheckingOut for an update during the week! 

What will YOU do for #ThisWeekIWillNot?? 

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Day 1... of 90

Day 1 workout was Mr. Pain's #The18Legs. See pic. It speaks for itself! (I'm pretty sore today.... )

Sunday, February 26, 2012

12 Weeks...That's all ... 12 Weeks

Clarity and Resolve - my 2 new favorite words. Mostly... I think, because I FEEL them. I'm addicted to Pinterest - this isn't news - but today, while browsing friends boards, I saw the pic below. 12 weeks...that's all.

Starting tomorrow (Monday, Feb 27) starts my 12 weeks. Since Mr. Pain took out all scales from the gym, I'm going to go on measurements and how I feel. (Not gonna lie, I'll find a scale... but I vow not to look at it for 12 weeks - at the end!)

In that 12 weeks, I vow to blog my workouts and new recipes. It's just 12 weeks, right?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Tuesday Training

In honor of my friend Christa at Livin' a Little Life, here's my last workout for Training Tuesday. I'm not really training for ANYTHING, but yesterday's workout was all it was cracked up to be, and then some. I missed #LegDay in a big way - I love the burn, the powerful feeling of pushing through exercises I never thought I'd be doing, plus my knee has been a little iffy and I know I need to build up my quads to help stabilize. I hadn't done a full leg day since Mid-November.... (About halfway through abs yesterday I realized it was too late to back out, I had to be FULLY committed to it).

Here is yesterday's workout:
#18Minute Leg Workout: 
All sets are 30 seconds long, with no more than 30 second rest in between
Crunches X2 (with 9# medicine ball)
Bicycles X2
Goblet Squats X3 (35# dumbbell)
Romanian Deadlifts X2 (30# dumbbells)
Leg Curls X2 (Machine - 65#)
Frog Squats X2 (HOLY SHIT!)
Wall Sits X2 (Modified from orig to work on rehabbing knee - was Walking lunges)
Leg Press X2 (270# - Modified from orig - was step-ups)
Calf Raises X3 - 140# 

Sunday, February 12, 2012

It's a mind game....

It's all a mind game, I'm starting to realize. I can give up... or I can just do it. If you've followed my FB, you know that my Grandfather had a fall just over a year ago, subsequent spinal surgery (C2) and was in a rehab facility for a number of weeks - and had a trach. At first, there was question if he'd ever walk again, or well enough not to need a wheelchair. But he's a stubborn man, and pushed himself as much as he could to get back to where he needed to be; walking. One day, his new doc took his trach out...and voila, he could breathe. This was what he needed... he's walking, he's in his shop working around, he's out and about. Granted maybe a bit slower, and with a cane; but at 83, I think he's entitled to slow down. The other day he did a mile in 40mins on the treadmill.

While I beam with utter pride, I also have the thought in my head "if Gramps can do this, WTF is MY problem??" So with that... I'm vowing to run/walk/crawl/cry through at least 1.5 miles a day (and goodness, more when he starts doing more!), and getting it in. #NoExcuses.

It's all a mind game. My body is stronger than my mind most days. So I'll push through...and I'll succeed!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Tuesday Truth

I'm trying to be better about this ... I really am!

Recently I realized that there's a lot that motivates me. Feeling good, doing a good job, happy customers/clients, happy friends, happy boy etc. And I realized too, that while I'm a fan of being pushed to my limits (especially at the gym), at the end of the day, whatever I did HAS to be enough, even if it wasn't. And I have to feel good about that and find the positive motivation in that. And I have to continue to only accepting positive motivation and let the negative fall by the wayside!

So ... what motivates you??

Sunday, January 8, 2012


With 2011 firmly in the rear view mirror, I was SO ready for 2012 to come rolling in... and instead, I was asleep by 1015p on New Years Eve, sick. I spent the first 2 weekends of the year sick... with what is now bronchitis and pneumonia. Yay me. But, being sick, laying low and spending a lot of time at home has given me a lot of time to think, process, and check out of 2011.  And what a year it was. I learned a lot about myself and I learned that it's ok to "fail". I failed in a big way this year with my weight loss progress. As much as I'm not ok with that, I actually am. I learned what to do differently this year. I learned how I learn, how I process, how I'm motivated. 

I've found this blog to be cathartic, but there are a lot of things I can't talk about (work, look up Dooced), things I won't talk about (the guy in my life, out of respect), and don't want to talk about (whatever the hell I choose!). In thinking about the "restrictions" I realized there are a lot of things I can talk about... or thing... ME! And then I can look back on what I've written and learn and process and take it all in. 

I thought about moving the blog, I thought about starting over, but then I thought about the name. Checking Out, Checking In. I checked out of 2011 and checked into 2012. I checked out of who I used to be and checked into who I am now. So it's sticking! 

What to expect this year? I don't know... but I'm planning to be more active and write more. Maybe quick blogs, and some may be longer and in depth, but I want to use this as my own sounding board. Maybe more pics - of life in general. 

One things I CAN say, as soon as I have doctors ok, I'm hitting the gym, cardio and hopefully running (hello bad knee). Joining a new gym too.... Oh and there will, I hope, blurbs about learning to be more frugal and spending less money and saving more! 

So welcome to 2012 with me!