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Monday, May 23, 2011

Let It Go

Let It Go - Zac Brown Band
You keep your heart above your head and you eyes wide open so this world can't find a way to leave you cold. And know you're not the only ship out on the ocean. Save your strength for things that you can change. Forgive the ones you can't. You gotta let 'em go

So it's almost been a year since I embarked on this journey. New state, new life, new outlook. I just read through all my old posts, and I'm debating archiving them, or maybe starting over. Not because I don't like what's there, but because well, that's not me anymore. Parts of it are, but so much isn't. I still struggle with some of the same demons & haunts, but I realize that's just not me anymore, and it's time to let it go.

So much has changed. I sometimes struggle to figure out exactly what's stayed the same. I'm still enjoying the changes, and looking forward for the many many that will be coming soon, and those that may take a bit longer.

I'm drafting my "year in review" blog - complete with "before" and "during" pics. HUGE step for me. (No idea why....). Today I asked Mr. Pain for 75lbs to have "on" me - because I wanted to remember what it felt like. I squatted 75lbs (but uh, well, I squat more than that usually....), and that wasn't working. He handed me a 75lb dumbbell and told me to walk the length of the gym. NOW I remember. I told him he can keep it ...and take some more with him. Hell.yeah.

So game on for year 2. More changes, and hopefully some more of the same!

Save your strength for the things you can't change, forgive the ones you can't - you gotta let em go.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Little Miss

Little miss do your best. Little miss never rest. Little miss I'll make more anytime that it runs out. Little miss you'll go far. Little miss hide your scars. Little miss you're so much more than you like to talk about. Its ok, its alright, it'll be ok again. Yeah sometimes you gotta lose till you win. (Sugarland - I'm Ok)

This is my theme song in so many ways. I find myself placed in the boxes people expect & want me to be in lately and I'm starting to realize, as the song says, I'm so much more than I like to talk about. I'm not perfect. This journey is as much journey as it is a battle, but I'm blessed to have amazing people in my life who support it, and never judge. With that, I realize that those that are judging, just aren't worth it.

I have a great blog brewing...but for now, this will have to do.

Oh, and if you're keeping track.....75+ pounds. Judge that, is all I can say.

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