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Friday, June 11, 2010

Glitter In the Air

"Glitter in the Air" - Pink
Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands? Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted? Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, "I just don't care"? It's only half past the point of no return, the tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn,the thunder before the lightning, the breath before the phrase. Have you ever felt this way?

I went to be restless, and a bit "blah" after some bickering w/ a great friend. We've been like this for a few days... or weeks, I don't even know right now. I was tired after dinner with friends. I came home and wrote my blog and went to bed. I woke up a few times to get comfortable and drink some water. I woke up not feeling any better than I had when I went to bed, mentally. I felt ok physically. I'd offered to baby sit for some friends this weekend and knew that tonight I'd be babysitting the most adorable 11mos old boy this side of the Mississippi. My motivation at work wasn't where it could have been, but I did some busy work, tied up some loose ends and decided to go to "lunch" early and go to the gym for cardio. Leading up to going, I found myself looking forward to it. Weird.

I hopped on the treadmill with my iPod (Note to self, get a new damn sync cord tomorrow... the "Gym" Playlist you have sucks!) and did a couple minutes at a pretty slowish speed and no incline. I kept the pace at 3mph and and incline of 1.5 which slowly moved up to 3.5 by the time I was done. 30 mins and 2 miles later, I felt better. My frustrstions were still there, but I just felt better.

Tomorrow is weights again! Monday starts my normal routine. Monday, Wednesday & Friday = weights, Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday is cardio. Sunday is my off day. I'm probably going to start increasing my cardio on M/W/F from a 10 minute workout to 20-30 mins plus weights and eventually move up from 30 mins Tu/Th/S to 45 mins.

I think there might be something to Pink's lyrics. When was the last time you threw a handful of glitter in the air? I can honestly say, I'm pretty sure I never have... but I might just one day soon, maybe sooner than later. The first time I heard this song was on some awards show - I'm always in awe of Pink - but this performance may have taken the cake. I didn't hear the song for a few weeks after that again, but every time I hear it, I fall more in love with it.

"Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted" - why do those words seem so difficult to act upon? I might be able to count on one hand the people I trust with my life... because it's so so hard for me to trust. I'm hopeful in this new journey, I'll learn to trust again, to trust more. One can hope.

I'm looking forward to a day with a sweet 11mos old tomorrow. I think a walk around the trail behind their house (around a lake) is in order. Sunday is all about relaxing. A lounge chair, umbrella, cooler, good book, ipod and my portable fan (Mom I stocked up!) ... on the beach. Waves crashing, kids giggling... that's my bliss.

1 comment:

  1. Can you imagine all the vacuuming you'd have to do if you threw glitter in the air? ;)

    I hope you enjoy your walk with the baby. Hearing him get excited over the simplest things, like the wind in his hair, will make you realize how much we take all those little joys for granted.